With a soon-to-be five year old in the house, we don’t get to watch many grown-up movies. So, after she’s down for the night, some Saturdays we’ll get a wild hair, open up the snack drawer and fire up the Netflix. Last night was such a night.
We started with Drinking Buddies. Olivia Wilde, Jason Sudeikis, Anna Kendrick, Ron Livingston – great cast, right? We thought so, until NOTHING HAPPENED. For 90 minutes. It did make me want a beer though – I had some of the 8oz miller lite cans (they’re so cute!) which I thought would be a good idea, but it was just like a tease of a beer. FAIL, on both counts.
Then we we thought “Hey it’s only 11, let’s watch another movie – our kid will sleep in, right?” (uhhh negative on that one, ghostrider) So we watched Don Jon. We thought it was going to be funny – did anyone else think this was marketed as a comedy? Not so much. Other than the accents which my husband thought were horrendous (after growing up in NY I kind of forget about them after a while) and the kid from Third Rock from The Sun all pumped up, and Scarlett Johansson playing a human blow up doll (I mean honestly), the best part of the whole movie was Julianne Moore, who I didn’t even know was in the movie in the first place. It kind of surprised me, which is nice.
I guess we (and by we, I mean me, as Bailey hates watching all movies) have high expectations – with not a lot of disposable time, I need to feel like I’ve spent my time wisely. Have you ever felt that way? I mean, I could have been reading. Or watching four episodes of True Blood. (I know, welcome to 2008 – but it’s on Amazon Prime now!) Remember when you were younger, how much time you wasted doing nothing? Don’t you wish you could get all those hours back now?
Including the hours where you could be sleeping. Which brings me to my next genius idea: early morning babysitters. Had a night out – or a night in, or just a rough week when all you want to do is sleep until 9am? (people without kids are laughing at me here) I’m going to start a business where you text your order (because no one wants to talk at that hour), and within 10 minutes a babysitter shows up to take care of your kid, keep them quiet and amused until you’re ready to get up. And when you get up, there’s a fresh pot of coffee, breakfast of your choice, and the paper waiting on you. And the babysitter leaves like a silent ninja so you don’t have to make conversation. Or put on a bra. BRILLIANT!
Pretty sure I could kickstart this thing. Who’s with me?