For real, Etsy?

I love browsing on Etsy. I find the cutest stuff, great ideas, and beautiful workmanship. And then I find the items that I think, “Really Etsy? Seriously?” Let me give you some examples:

Succulent Planter Necklace | Wearable Live Plant | Small Succulent Included

Because who doesn’t need a succulent necklace?

Vintage 1980s Sexy PABST BEER Poster for Man Cave, Recreation Room, Garage, or Work Shop Wall Decoration-Olde English 800 Malt Liquor

And that perfect poster for your… whatever? Well, it is the power.

How about 9 wooden 2″ square blocks for $150?

Set of 9 decorative hand painted wood blocks | An exclusive interior detail | Free shipping

Well, the shipping is included.

Then you come across awesome items like this:

Cat bridge.. indiana jones cat bridge

Yeah. That’s an Indiana Jones cat bridge.

And, for those of you who may have an upcoming 9th anniversary – the traditional gift is leather. Do you think my husband would like these?

 Black Leather Shorts With Two Pockets Custom Made To Order BSHN001

Seriously. Leather. Shorts.

And if only our kid liked rhinestones, or ribbon.  Or matching stuff.

Monogrammed Mommie & Me Converse!

Mommy and me shoes, mommy and me clothing, mommy and me baby girl, monogram converse, mommy and me matching, toddler converse,child converse

And there I go, down the rabbit hole.  I’ll be here all week, folks.

No seriously, it’s like a time warp. Someone make sure I get to work tomorrow, will you?


Unfortunately, Amazon did not pay me to write this.*

Amazon needs to apologize to me for setting the bar so high. Two day shipping included in your Prime membership? OK. Overnight shipping for $3.99?  Sounds good. Wait, now I can get things delivered to me the same day? Stop it, Amazon. You already own me – what more do you want?

Our house fills up a (small) recycling bin each week with Amazon boxes. Anytime we need something, our first move is to check the Amazon website. The kid needs water shoes for water park day tomorrow?Amazon has them for 8.99, with overnight shipping for $3.99.  Walmart has them for $10.99. Is it worth going to Walmart to save two dollars?  Anyone who has been to Walmart knows that answer. Even if you’re one of those people who doesn’t hate Walmart (I love the mart), you know once you’re in there you’ll find seventeen things you forgot you need to have – so I’m actually saving money by spending another two dollars. How’s that for logic?

We bought my husband dress shirts from Costco, and they took two weeks to ship. Why, for the love of God, in 2015, does anything take two weeks to ship? You would have thought we were being told we had to run a 5K before they would deliver. We have to what? I’m sorry I must have misheard you – I thought you said two weeks. Seriously, by the time they were delivered we were all kinds of indignant – “well they better be good, for the amount of time we had to wait for them!”

Spoiled much? Don’t blame me. It’s Amazon’s fault.


*Although I am open to any offers.


Wait, I’m how old?

Does this ever happen to you? Someone asks how old you are and you start to say “thirrr – wait. no.”  Seriously, in my head I’m still about 37.  I’m not one of those “never say 30!!” girls (or forty, whatever) but I honestly don’t feel like I’m in my forties.  Except when I’m around the young’uns. Going out for drinks? On a Wednesday? get outta here. Drinking fireball shots (any shots for that matter)? Dude I have a five year old who does not understand the concept of “sleeping in”. French toast needs to be in her hands by 8am, rain, shine, or hangover.

And my tastes have changed. I have the biggest sweet tooth – in our house at any time there are three different kinds of ice cream, two jars filled with candy of various sizes, a cookie jar filled with Little Debbies, and cookies in the bread drawer. (The cookie jar is already occupied, you see.) But lately I’ve been going for the salty stuff, and I’ve found that some things are actually too sweet.  Madness you say?  I know!  What is going on with me?  I even liked a Matthew Mcconaughey movie the other day!  It’s like Bizarro world! Next I’ll be…. joining group activities.  Oh crap – I’m already there.  And I’m liking it.  Somewhere inside me my 26 year-old-self is really pissed.

It’s OK though, I can usually shut her up with a cupcake.


If you’ve ever asked my husband “Hey, when are we getting together for xxx?” the answer will invariably be “I don’t handle that. Ask Lindsey.”  While scheduling, planning, and organizing is not my husband’s jam, luckily it’s mine. Knowing when, where, who and how something is going to happen makes me happy.  I can sing the “I’ll just fly by the seat of my pants” song all day long, but anyone who knows me sees right thru that.

During Easter weekend I got knocked on my butt by a virus. It kept me in bed and awake most of the time, so I had a lot of free time for Pinterest viewing – unfortunately for my family and my pocketbook.  A few weeks later, I’ve got an Erin Condren Planner (seriously in love with this thing), new pens and pencils, I’ve unearthed my Silhouette and made stickers, and renewed my love/hate relationship with Etsy (seriously, don’t click on that link unless you’ve got three hours and money to burn).  Going back to a paper calendar is working for me – I can write lists and cross things off and you know how good that feels.  Do you ever write things on the list you’ve already done, just so you can cross them off?  It’s ok. I know you do. I won’t judge.

Three boxes a day to fill with checklists, stickers, quotes, pictures… whatever you can print on sticker paper (which is anything. literally).  Then let’s talk about washi tape. And adhesive ribbon. And new containers to put them all in. My organizational superhero has a new cape, and it’s AWWWESOME. (Say that in the Miz voice, will you?)

However, my husband is completely digital – oh he has some moleskin notebooks that he writes random things in (very stream of consciousness) in a very Garden-and-Gun way. But if there’s somewhere he needs to be? “I didn’t see it on the calendar.” As in Google Calendar. “But I talked to you about it on Monday.” But it wasn’t on the calendar. sigh. So I work with two calendars – Google for him, paper for me. It actually works better since half the stuff in my planner has nothing to do with him anyway, it would just confuse him, and I would have to explain why I have things like “SK VHC gummies” written down.

So anyway, Mussolini and the trains. In order to keep our house running on time (like the trains), sometimes* I turn into a bit of a dictator (like Mussolini). While my husband may bristle at being told what/when/where/how to do something, I think we both agree the system works. He doesn’t have to worry about the details, and I get to put stickers in a book. Happiness all around!

Still a work in progress.

               Still a work in progress.

*sometimes, all the time, usually when we’re running late – whenever.

Mussolini and the trains. And stickers.


The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Hi. I’m Lindsey, and I’m addicted to making lists in Excel.

You know how it starts. You’re laying in bed, waiting to fall asleep, and the list runs through your head: we’re nearly out of mayo. The kid has show and tell on Monday. Did I pay the gas bill? I need an oil change. Remember to get the chicken out of the freezer for dinner on Wednesday. Do I need to write this down? nahh, I’ll remember. You know what happens next, right? You don’t remember. womp-wommmp (sad trombone)

Some of you are OK with not remembering. But if you aren’t, you start figuring out that if you just write everything down, you’ll remember. And then when you do what’s on the list?  You get to cross it out. It’s a rush, man. Sometimes I even write things down AFTER I’ve done them, just so I can cross them off. (Look, some days I need it, OK?)

So you become one of us – a list maker. What’s your poison – scrap paper? your hand? Evernote? a special notebook? ahhh.. the list notebook. That’s just a gateway drug, especially when you are working with the mamma-jamma of lists: the to-do list. Grocery lists are the baby aspirin of the list making world. But to-do lists! Lists that have at least 5 days of prep work – those are like heroin for list junkies. Am I talking your language? Or are you re-reading that sentence again, going “what? what possibly takes 5 days of prep work?” (I’m looking at you, Husband.) Come with me, into my world of ridiculousness.

Sarah Kate’s birthday party is next Saturday. After a work trip, organizing a wedding shower for a co-worker, and SK’s first day of school added to the normal craziness of life, I’m a little behind. So to make myself feel better (or get my fix) I open up Excel. Look at all those little boxes, just waiting to be filled! So much promise!  Start with today, list the days across the top of the columns, ending on Saturday (the target date). Then just work backwards. I know I have to bake cake pops on Friday night. Saturday morning I have a meeting from 9-12, so someone else needs to pick up balloons.  I’ll decorate Friday afternoon. Thursday I can grocery shop. That leaves Sat/Sun/Mon/Tues/Wed to fill in the rest – house cleaning, laundry, dinner, whatever. And the beauty of Excel is that if something changes, or doesn’t happen one night, move it to the next. Then while you’re thinking about it, add a column on the same sheet and type out your grocery list. Then what you need from Costco. Or a “do I already have this in the pantry?” list.  Once you’re comfortable, you can move up to the next rung of crazy-lady-organization: color coding.  Seriously, stop me, people. My husband will thank you.

chore chart


There *may* be a color-coded, laminated chore list for our family. My husband is sweet enough to ignore it completely while allowing my neurotic self to keep pointing at it, mumbling “I’m two days behind schedule. Monday is the day to wash towels. I believe you have my red stapler.”


So find your favorite way of organizing your list (and your thoughts). Then print it off, post it on your fridge. Or fold it up in your purse. Or put it on your clipboard. (you don’t have a clipboard? amateur.) Anytime you’re feeling overwhelmed with everything you have to do/buy/make/remember, pull out that paper and take a deep breath. You’ve got this.

I believe in you – Excel believes in you. Let’s cross some stuff out!


genius, tutorial

How $5, IKEA and Hobby Lobby help me shine a little brighter.

I’ve always been jealous of women who wear jewelry. Not just expensive jewelry, but earrings, necklaces, bracelets – things that add that extra oommph to an outfit. I’m not one of those women – but I’m trying to be.

So I buy a piece here and there – mostly earrings and necklaces.  I can’t wear bracelets, they just get in the way when I’m trying to type or write. (Remember writing, by hand? on paper?) Then I put them away in my jewelry box (yeah right, more likely on the mantle, or on the kitchen counter, or wherever SK ends up playing with it) and I forget all about them. Once I realized that if I can see the jewelry I’m much more likely to wear it, I had to find a way to organize it.

With a little help from IKEA and Hobby Lobby, I came up with this:

It’s a 4×6″ frame from IKEA (Tolsby link here) and a 69-cent plastic canvas sheet from Hobby Lobby (you’ll find them by the embroidery floss in any craft store).  Cut the canvas sheet to 4×6, insert it in the frame, and TA-DAHHH! An earring holder, for under $2.  And now they come in more colors, to brighten up your day. Cheap and cheerful, and your earrings are no longer tangled in a box, or hidden away never to be worn. And if you want to go whole hog, you can splurge another $2.99 on the Bygel rail and use it to hang your necklaces. Organized jewelry, check!

necklace area

genius, reviews

Movie Reviews and 6am babysitting

With a soon-to-be five year old in the house, we don’t get to watch many grown-up movies. So, after she’s down for the night, some Saturdays we’ll get a wild hair, open up the snack drawer and fire up the Netflix. Last night was such a night.

snack drawer This is our snack drawer. We may have a pork skin problem.

We started with Drinking BuddiesOlivia Wilde, Jason Sudeikis, Anna Kendrick, Ron Livingston – great cast, right?  We thought so, until NOTHING HAPPENED. For 90 minutes.  It did make me want a beer though – I had some of the 8oz miller lite cans (they’re so cute!) which I thought would be a good idea, but it was just like a tease of a beer. FAIL, on both counts.

Then we we thought “Hey it’s only 11, let’s watch another movie – our kid will sleep in, right?”  (uhhh negative on that one, ghostrider) So we watched Don Jon. We thought it was going to be funny – did anyone else think this was marketed as a comedy? Not so much. Other than the accents which my husband thought were horrendous (after growing up in NY I kind of forget about them after a while) and the kid from Third Rock from The Sun all pumped up, and Scarlett Johansson playing a human blow up doll (I mean honestly), the best part of the whole movie was Julianne Moore, who I didn’t even know was in the movie in the first place. It kind of surprised me, which is nice.

I guess we (and by we, I mean me, as Bailey hates watching all movies) have high expectations – with not a lot of disposable time, I need to feel like I’ve spent my time wisely. Have you ever felt that way? I mean, I could have been reading. Or watching four episodes of True Blood. (I know, welcome to 2008 – but it’s on Amazon Prime now!) Remember when you were younger, how much time you wasted doing nothing?  Don’t you wish you could get all those hours back now?

Including the hours where you could be sleeping.  Which brings me to my next genius idea: early morning babysitters. Had a night out – or a night in, or just a rough week when all you want to do is sleep until 9am?  (people without kids are laughing at me here) I’m going to start a business where you text your order (because no one wants to talk at that hour), and within 10 minutes a babysitter shows up to take care of your kid, keep them quiet and amused until you’re ready to get up. And when you get up, there’s a fresh pot of coffee, breakfast of your choice, and the paper waiting on you. And the babysitter leaves like a silent ninja so you don’t have to make conversation. Or put on a bra.  BRILLIANT!

Pretty sure I could kickstart this thing.  Who’s with me?